He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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