Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
