I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
