In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
