I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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