just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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