It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
