Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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