Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
it was like eating out sand paper
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
