If you die in college, do you die in real life?
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
