You made me cry and you don't even care
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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