one two three fourrrrnication!
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
