Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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