either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
