I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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