Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
