I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
a search helicopter?!
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
