perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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