so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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