after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
