she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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