I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
