I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
