Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Randomize
