I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Be still, my beating vagina.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
