she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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