I don't think brook has ever known best
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize