I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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