You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
