Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
