belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
