My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
