Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
