dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
ok first of all what the fuck
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
