I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
