I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
