Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
In America we eat man semen.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Randomize
