SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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