Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
