weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Randomize
