my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize