I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
