I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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