I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Enjoy the penises
Randomize
