hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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