I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Randomize
