my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
