I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
