i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
My pussy is not your playground.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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