i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
