I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
We have so much sex to catch up on
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
