Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
