Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize