Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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