I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
