she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
