My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
