Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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