Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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