Me. At least after what I've been through.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
