dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
We are two peas in an std pod
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
