was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
