Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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