I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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