You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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