I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
