The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
