I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
