dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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